Silence
by wolfypuppypiles
Summary: Matt felt the glass slip past the tips of his fingers, condensation wetting his skin, before it fell to the floor with a … silence. The lawyer felt his breath quicken, his chest tightening, because though he did all he could to focus his hearing there was simply nothing to focus on. Foggy finds Matt freaking out after losing his hearing
1. Chapter 1

Matt felt the glass slip past the tips of his fingers, condensation wetting his skin, before it fell to the floor with a … silence. The lawyer felt his breath quicken, his chest tightening, because though he did all he could to focus his hearing there was simply nothing to focus on.

Since his sight was taken from him and these gifts of strengthened senses given, Matt's world had been full of noise. Stick had taught him to focus his hearing and to shut out what wasn't important. Stick had taught him to use his hearing to show him what he couldn't see. But now he couldn't hear anything; not even his own heartbeat though it pounded hard against his ribcage.

Without sight the world was dark but without his hearing the world was empty and vast and he was alone. A shout erupted from his lungs and while he could feel the strain on his vocal chords and the air being forced from his lungs he could hear nothing. Matt panicked, screaming and banging on the wall behind him in an attempt to get anyone's attention.

The man's head pounded as he screamed his throat raw. He hardly noticed his nose was bleeding, wouldn't have noticed it at all if he hadn't tasted the copper on his tongue. Matt stopped yelling and touched his finger to his nose, confirming the origin of the blood, and wished he had let Foggy take him to the hospital or at least call Claire.

Though the vigilante had endured far worse he could not calm himself down. His heart was racing almost as fast as his mind. What was a blind man supposed to do without his hearing? Without sight or hearing he was alone and had no way of knowing what was happening. He didn't even know where in his own apartment he was. It was terrifying.

Sticks gruff voice made it into his sore head, bouncing against the walls of his skull.

"So what? You forgot about you're other three senses? Come on Mattie don't be such a pansy, laying there all helpless."

Matt closed his eyes again, this time laying his palms on the floor and feeling the vibrations run through his fingertips. For a while there was nothing, he didn't know how long he waited, dark thoughts swirling around in his mind. Was this permanent? How did it happen? How was he supposed to protect Foggy and Karen and the rest of this city without his hearing? How was he supposed to live without it.

Finally, after far too long, his fingers tingled with vibration. There was someone outside in the hall, their footsteps making their way to his door. They were quick, purposeful. Then bigger vibrations but from the air around him, the walls. The person in the hall was banging on the door.

Matt waited a while, not knowing who it was. If it was an enemy he would have no way to protect himself, he'd be helpless. The vibrations of footsteps got closer, the person having presumably opened the door, and starting coming towards him. Matt tried moving away from the approaching person, his heart rate speeding up, but didn't know where he was and only ended up scrambling against the wall.

Hands were on him, making the lawyer jump before he smelled the familiar scent of Foggy. Matt relaxed a little, allowing the hands to grasp his shoulders as he breathed in the sweet scent of his best friend. The hands started shaking him a little and Matt reached a hand forward to place his palm against Foggy's chest. The vibrations in the other man's chest told him he was talking, while the rapid beat of his heart and breathing alluded to Foggy's panic.

Though he could not hear his own words Matt forced them out between his panicked gasps as they grew more rapid.

"I can't hear you Foggy. I can't…. I can't hear anything."

His face crumpled as he squeezed his eyes shut. He was scared. The only thing keeping him grounded, letting him know where he was and what was happening, was Foggy. Tears slipped from his eyes as he felt the hands on his shoulders move around him, drawing him to Foggy's chest as he hugged him. Matt hugged him back gratefully and gripped the back of his friend's shirt. He didn't want him to let go. Without even realizing it Matt was repeatedly saying Foggy's name, mumbling it as the man held him, helping him to feel safe.

One of Foggy's hands was rubbing Matt's back while the other held him to his chest and Matt closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Foggy's heart beating. The Murdock could feel the thumping pulse against his own chest and used the rhythmic beat to calm his own racing heart down. Foggy was here, it would be okay, Foggy would take care of him.

They stayed like that for a while until Matt had calmed down. Foggy's arms slid away, making Matt reach out in panic till he found Foggy's hand, tentatively squeezing until Foggy squeezed back, letting him know it was okay. He wasn't going anywhere.

Matt was beyond scared, there was nothing he could do but let Foggy take care of him. And he knew he would, he trusted Foggy with his life. So the lawyer sat, with his hand in Foggy's, and tried to meditate while he waited.

(sorry this is short there will be more)


	2. Chapter 2

Foggy was more than a little shaken up. He had called Matt from the office to see how he was doing but had gotten nothing. Matt didn't pick up, and Foggy new he hadn't hit ignore because the phone rang on and on until it went to voicemail. This meant either Matt was too hurt to get to the phone or he had left it behind to do more daredeviling.

Foggy cursed as he stuffed his phone in his pocket, throwing an excuse to Karen as he raced out of the office. Heading straight for Matt's place, Foggy tried to stay calm. He had no idea what he would find in there. He hoped Matt was in bed but he knew his friend too well to actually believe it.

The lawyer had knocked on the door, and began banging harder and shouting when he got no reply. Foggy opened the door, letting himself in while calling for his partner. He had turned the corner and found his best friend cowering against the wall, sitting on the floor, eyes darting everywhere.

Foggy had gripped Matt's shoulders, making the man flinch. A whimpered "Foggy?" came from his best friend's trembling mouth and soon the situation became clear. His best friend, his blind best friend, couldn't hear anything.

Foggy's breath had immediately caught in his throat, a surge of protectiveness rising in him as Matt clung to him for dear life. Foggy gripped Matt in a hug, tight and warm, in an attempt to calm the hero down. His breath was coming in gasps and Foggy had to breathe deeply and keep his own emotions in check so that Matt wouldn't feel how freaked out he was. Foggy had never seen the man so scared, like a child he gripped Foggy, muttering his name over and over. Foggy couldn't even tell him it would all be okay, they had only touch and so he placed a hand on the back of Matt's neck and weaved his fingers through the man's hair, other hand rubbing his back.

Matt slowly started to calm down at these tangible "I'm here" "Its okay" reassurances. Foggy waited till his partner had calmed down to let go, placing a hand on his arm when the man searched for his touch.

Foggy used a sleeve to wipe Matt's cheeks dry of tears as the other man took deep breaths and concentrated. Matt still had a hand fisted in Foggy's shirt and so he used a finger to touch Matt's lips, trailing it down his throat to tell him what he needed to leave for. Water. Matt nodded and reluctantly let go, immediately pressing his palms to the floor to feel where Foggy was.

He moved as quickly as he could, filling up a glass of water and grabbing a tissue on his way back, feeling Matt's relief when he was back with a hand to the blind man's shoulder. Sliding his hand down to Matt's hand, Foggy placed the glass in his grip and waited till he had emptied the glass before holding his chin as he cleaned the blood from Matt's face. Matt had returned his hand to Foggy's shirt, shaking hand fisted in the material over his heart, occasionally flattening to press against the thrumming beats.

Foggy sat on the floor in front of his friend, taking the glass and setting it aside before taking Matt's free hand and grasping it in his own. He knew Matt wouldn't like it but they needed to be in a hospital. He should have taken him in as soon as he found him. He had put Claire's number in his own phone the last time she patched Matt up, and he took it out now and called her, knowing that Matt wouldn't go to the hospital unless Claire was the one taking care of him.

The nurse answered after three rings, sounding tired and grumpy.

"Claire, hey it's Foggy. I kind of have a situation here."

Her sigh made its way through the phone but Foggy could hardly feel sorry for her as he watched Matt looking as vulnerable as he'd ever seen him.

"What's he done now? How bad is it?"

"Uhh, he went up against that new crazy guy that's been shooting up the gangs and got himself shot in the head."

"What?!"

Foggy quickly corrected himself, shaking his head at his mistake.

"He had his helmet on, the bullet didn't go through his head. He's alive he's just. I found him on the roof this morning, he'd been there since last night. He was acting okay and he said he was fine but I just came to check on him and his nose is bleeding and he can't hear anything. He's freaking out Claire and I'm not too calm myself so please just tell me this isn't permanent."

"Oh god, okay it's because of the head injury, his brain was rattled around quite a bit. A fucking bullet to the head, what the hell were either of you thinking not getting him to the hospital?"

"You know how he is."

"You don't mess around with head injuries Foggy! I don't care how stubborn he's being, he doesn't have to come dressed in his devil suit just get him here. God, he's gonna get himself killed. Okay I'll be there with an ambulance soon just keep him calm."

"They're gonna let you do that?"

"A blind man has gone deaf and he has a fear of hospitals, it's a special case I'll make it work."

"Thank you Claire, we don't deserve you but I'm glad we have you anyway."

"That's right you don't. Okay just keep him calm and conscious, we'll be there soon."


	3. Chapter 3

Matt could feel the vibrations on the floor when Claire and the ambulance arrived. There were too many to concentrate on, thrumming through his fingers as footsteps pounded the ground. Matt had no way of knowing who had just come I through his front door. He thought Foggy might call Claire but there were too many people.

The vigilante suddenly worried that they may be under attack and grabbed at his friend, calling for him desperately. Hands took his shoulders, one of them taking Matt's hand and placing it against a warm chest. The smell of Foggy's aftershave filled Matt's nose and his palm rested over his partners heart, the steady pulsing beats telling Matt all he needed to know. Foggy was calm, it was okay, whatever was happening was safe.

The hero nodded and loosened his grip on his friend, leaning against the wall and slowing down his breathing. Remembering Sticks voice in his head earlier Matt concentrated on the smells filling the room. Latex, gloves probably, the kind nurses used at hospitals. Dirt, from people's shoes, it came from close to the ground. There was the faint smell of bleach or some other hospital grade cleaner or disinfectant, something with alcohol strong enough to kill any germ or bacteria that lingered. And from the vibrations and that pressing feeling like an invisible wall was closing you in when there are lots of people around, close to you, there were probably around three other people in the room beside himself and Foggy.

Foggy had called an ambulance. Great. New hands grazed his cheek with gentle fingers, Matt had flinched until the person leaned in and kissed his forehead, her familiar smell washing over him like a fog. Claire. Matt smiled and muttered her name, quiet enough so the EMT's wouldn't wonder how a deaf blind man new who was with him.

He felt her hands flutter over him and he held still while she checked him over. Smoothing her hands through his hair, checking for bumps and cuts even as Foggy traced a finger over where the bullet hit him.

Matt Sat in the silent darkness, feeling the press of too many people, too close, on him like a bag had been put over his face. He was finding it hard to breathe and lifting a searching hand to Foggy's chest again, using his heart beat as a focusing point to calm down to.

Claire's nimble hands took Matt's free one and turned his palm to the ceiling, tapping on of his fingers before tapping his nose, making him flinch back a little at the unexpected touch. Obediently he touched his finger to his nose, showing her his coordination was intact. She did a number of things like this, pulling Matt's reluctant hand from Foggy's shirt to stretch his arms out in front of him and hold them there. Tracing a smile on his face so that he could demonstrate that as well. He knew she was checking for signs of a stroke, which he did not have, but he was cooperative nonetheless, replacing his hand on Foggy's chest as soon as she released it.

Asking for symptoms was tricky, Matt trying to understand them was harder, but Claire did the best she could. Tracing a swirl on the injured man's forehead she waited as he cocked his head slightly. Matt couldn't hear himself so had no way of knowing how loud he was talking but Claire was close enough to hear his whispers.

"Dizzy? Am I dizzy?"

The hand that wasn't on Foggy was on Claire's cheek so he could feel her nod.

"No I just don't know where I am in my apartment, it's a little disorientating."

He felt her hand on his stomach before it traced a line from his tummy, up his chest and throat and ended at his mouth. He smiled a little at her game of touch charades.

"No I'm not nauseous. I was this morning and I had a headache. Migraine actually, a bad one. I think I had a concussion."

Claire nodded again and patted his cheek, taking his hand down from her face and placing it in his lap. They were done with questions for now. Foggy's hands took his arms and started pulling, indicating that he should stand. So they were moving. At least it was progress.

….

Foggy made sure he was always in Matt's grasp. Partly because Matt would freak out if he wasn't and partly because Foggy would freak out. Foggy had always felt a little protective of his blind friend but had pushed most of it down knowing Matt wouldn't want to be babied. But now he got to take care of him, properly mother hen the guy as much as he liked. And there would be a lot of mother-henning.

Once they had gotten the vigilante into the ambulance and to the hospital they had been placed in a little curtained off bed where Foggy could hold Matt's hand as he sat on the bed. Claire had explained that they would be taking some brain scans to see what was happening.

"It's most likely just minor swelling but we need to make sure it's not too bad and that there isn't any bleeding. With Matt's…. special talents, I'm not sure how he will react to the scans and I don't know what we are gonna see in there. I don't think it's anything too bad but we always have to careful with head injuries."

The nurse looked around to make sure no one was close enough to listen before leaning in.

"We need a story." She whispered. "For when the doctors ask what happened. I told the EMT's some bullshit about an accident but we need an actual story for the doctors."

Foggy nodded and looked to where Matt was resting back in the bed, nose slightly crinkled at the hospital smells he didn't like.

"I think he might have some bruises and stuff from the fight that might go along with a car accident story. He was walking all stiffly like he does when his ribs or muscles hurt and he doesn't want you to notice. Dumb-ass."

Claire nodded, at both the information and Matt being a dumb-ass.

"Okay he was walking home with his cane and got hit, tumbled and hit his head. Let's hope they don't look too closely and notice the shit ton of old injuries that are still healing. Thanks Foggy, I'll be back soon with the Doctor to take him up for some scans."

Foggy nodded and looked back to Matt. He looked uncomfortable and irritated, his nose scrunched up and lips open so he could breathe through his mouth but he was frowning like that annoyed him too. He could probably taste the awful smells around him, bleach and blood and other unfortunate bodily fluids. Foggy didn't like what he could smell and couldn't imagine what Matt must have in his nose. Actually he could. Some kid was throwing up into a bucket a few curtains down. Matt made a face like he could smell everything that was in that vomit, which he probably could.

Foggy winced in sympathy and bent down to his bag, rummaging around till he found what he was looking for. The jacket he had stashed in his bag and forgotten to take out before he went to work. Karen had worn it the other night when she had gotten cold at the restaurant the three of them were at for lunch. Foggy pressed it into Matt's hands and, as the man made a confused grunt at his partner, lifted it to Matts face. The lawyer had gotten the idea and pressed it to his nose gratefully, closing his eyes and taking in the plethora of smells trapped in the fabric. Scents of Foggy, the restaurant and the food that Foggy had ordered, and smells of Karen. Her perfume, her skin and shampoo and the desert she had shared with him. Cheesecake and strawberries.

Matt smiled and squeezed his best friend's hand, thanking him for knowing exactly what he had been thinking without him having to say anything. Matt felt a bad for causing so much trouble. He knew Foggy was worried, he had been so mad at him that morning and now he was missing a day at the office to hold his hand in the hospital. He hated it when Foggy worried, he hated it when they fought too but Foggy never understood that his need to protect the city came before protecting himself.

As soon as he got his hearing back he would be getting an earful from Foggy and Claire about being careful and taking unnecessary risks. He also hated it when they ganged up on him, telling him off for being reckless. He supposed Claire thought this was a good lesson for him, a punishment for not being careful. He didn't know if it was or not but he knew he'd be learning from his mistake and keep a better ear out for hidden weapons like ankle holsters. As soon as he got out of this hospital he'd be back out finding the guy that shot him in the head and killed all those gang members. He knew Foggy and Claire probably knew this too.

Foggy might not let him out of his sight after this though. Once, in college, Matt had run into some trouble while walking home. A group of guys tried to mug him which wouldn't have been a problem but there were three of them and Matt couldn't fight them all off at once in the tiny alley they had cornered him in. He knocked them all out but not after he had been punched in the face enough times to leave some bad bruising that he couldn't cover up. Foggy had immediately freaked out and wouldn't let him walk into town by himself for weeks.

That was a bruise, this was a bullet to the head and, hopefully, temporary deafness. This was going to be some heavy mother-henning and probably a fight too. Matt sighed and felt Claire push his hair back, her hand sliding down to cup his cheek as her thumb rubbed along his cheek bones in comfort. At least he could wait a while before they got mad at him. For now he could lay back and let his friends take care of him.


	4. Chapter 4

WARNING: Matt has a panic attack in this brought on by claustrophobia and it describes the feeling of being trapped in a small space and describes him hyperventilating and hes also sedated so if this is going to make you uncomfortable or bring on a panic attack just skip it or at least be careful I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or panicy. If you skip the panic stuff but want to read the rest just skip to the ... page break and read after that.

Matt hadn't liked the brain scans at all. Foggy had gone with him as long as he could but wasn't allowed in the room with him and couldn't obviously go in the machine with him. Matt was trying to be a cooperative patient for Claire but honestly he just wanted to go home. Claire had been there to put him in the machine for the brain scan, wheeling his chair in and guiding him to the long table that would slide into the machine.

She tucked a blanket around him and tapped his wrist, where his watch usually sat, and then tapped four of his fingers, paused, and tapped five. Her way of telling him it would take forty five minutes. She placed her hands on either side of his face and held his head still and in position. No moving. She kissed his cheek before leaving, the scent of her disappearing as she went.

Now there was just the piercing smell of disinfectants and Matt tried not to whine at how they stabbed at his nose. They were so sharp it hurt and he wanted desperately to cover his nose. Breathing through his mouth wasn't much better, he could taste the smells, often making him want to vomit. This was just one of the many reasons he didn't like hospitals. As soon as his hearing came back he would be jumping out of bed and going home.

He jumped in fright as the flat table he was lying on started moving. Though he couldn't see the machine he could feel the walls and ceiling pressing in on him as he slid in. It was as if he was a corpse being slid into one of those metal boxes in the walls of morgues, or into a coffin and being buried in the earth.

The vigilantes breathing started to grow desperate, his chest expanding as far as it could to get in oxygen. He knew he was hyperventilating but there didn't seem to be enough air, no matter how deeply he breathed there wasn't enough oxygen. Matt knew Claire wanted him to stay still but his hands fluttered in panic, reaching out to the walls of the machine around him ad trying to feel how much space he had.

It was so tight, such a small space and Matt thought he might have been making noises now. Little whines escaping as he tried to breathe. 'What's wrong with me? I don't get claustrophobic.' He knew he should meditate and calm down but lungs wouldn't obey.

Matt became so desperate to escape the tube that he began pushing against the walls and ceiling as if he could push them away from him. He was calling for Foggy and Claire now, begging to be let out. He couldn't do this.

The table beneath him started moving again, out of the machine, and Matt was sure he cried out in relief. His hands slid along the ceiling of the tube and finally met air when he was out. The vigilante sat up on the table and flung his legs over the side, trying to get off, when hands took his shoulders.

Claire's scent enveloped him as she took him in her arms, rubbing a hand over his heaving back as he tried to calm his breathing. He clung to her so tightly and tried to stop from making those awful whimpers he could feel coming from him. He was dizzy, his mind swirling and swaying but his breathing was slowly, slowly calming down.

His head was hurting and he felt nauseous. He scrunched his eyes shut and buried his face into Claire's shoulder in an effort to block out the awful smells and centre himself. He couldn't concentrate on her heartbeat when his own was thumping so harshly against his ribcage. He squeezed her tight as her arm stopped moving on his back, the other hand holding the back of his head to her shoulder.

Matt felt the shift as she began holding him still, her lips moving on his temple. Someone took his arm, he felt a cold, sharp prick that made him jump even as Claire held him. His mind grew fuzzy, slipping from his arms grew lax around the nurse. He thought he may have moaned something about wanting Foggy before hands were on him again, guiding him back down to the table. He didn't want to go back in the machine but the blanket around him felt so nice and warm he sank into it and let his mind fall into the blackness.

….

Foggy had been waiting for over an hour now and was getting worried. What if they found something bad? What if something had happened to Matt? His phone rang and he looked down to see Karen's contact photo lighting up the screen. He blew out a breath and quickly ran over the excuse he came up with before answering.

"Hey Karen."

"Hey Foggy is everything okay? You ran out of the office looking freaked out and then I didn't hear from you for hours. And Matt hasn't come in at all today. I'm getting worried about you two did something happen?"

The lawyer started pacing the small room. Matt had been given a room before had been taken for his scans and Foggy was grateful for the quiet space to let him concentrate.

"Uhh yeah, I mean no. Umm. Matt hit his head we're at the hospital getting it checked out."

"What? Is he okay? Do you want me to come?"

Foggy hated lying to her and hated shutting her out even more but he knew her being here would probably upset Matt and make it difficult to talk to Claire.

"He'll be okay we just have to take head injuries seriously. You take the day off, we're probably going to be here till tomorrow, he's being kept for observation."

"Are you sure I can't come and help?"

"No it's fine, thank you though. You know how Matt is, he's stubborn about telling everyone he's fine when he's not he wouldn't want to bother you. I think he'd be embarrassed for you to see him like this anyway."

Foggy could feel her hesitation.

"Okay. Tell him I'll be thinking of him."

"I will. Thanks Karen."

He hung up and sat back in his chair. This would all be so much easier if she knew but at the same time he didn't want her to know. He wanted her safe.

Foggy looked up at the sound of bed wheels from the hallway, standing up in worry when he saw Claire and another nurse pulling Matts into the room, unconscious in a hospital bed.

"What happened? Is he okay?" He went straight for his best friend, taking his lax hand in his as they moved the bed into place in the small room. Claire looked apologetic and tired.

"He had a panic attack in the MRI we had to sedate him before he passed out or caused so much stress on his brain that he caused more damage. He'll be okay we just had to make sure he wasn't going to make his injuries worse. We don't know what's wrong with him yet so we have to take precautions."

Foggy looked down at the sleeping Vigilante and sighed.

"Did anything come up in the scan?"

He didn't take his eyes off the hero in the bed, watching his relaxed face and the steady rise and fall of his chest. Poor handsome wounded duck had had a long day and Foggy hated thinking of him going through a panic attack without him to help.

"The doctors taking a look at them now, he'll be in to talk to you as soon as he's done."

Foggy nodded again, eyes remaining fixed on his best friend. Claire spoke up again.

"He's going to be out for a while if you want to get some lunch or pick up something for the overnight stay, which I'm sure you're staying for."

Foggy nodded. He wouldn't be leaving Matt here alone.

"I'll stay I have someone I can call to get some stuff. Thanks Claire."

She nodded and checked a few more things before leaving. Foggy took the chair beside Matt's bed again and rested his forehead against Matt's hand.

"What are we going to do with you buddy?"


End file.
